Contingency

now i know why these shoes are sitting patiently under my office desk...

...because yes, accidents do happen

Wishing Hard for Saturday Already

get togethers with friends help relieve the tension of a manic workweek

i've been terribly tired the past weeks. we had big shot visitors from the US so you can just imagine the preparation and yes, the stress! my boss and i heaved a big sigh of relief yesterday when the last of our visitors left and although it is so tempting to file for a sick leave today or tomorrow, we both can't because well, our meeting schedule dictates no.

i can't help it, the pressure's too much. there's the house renovation next week, the never-ending search for two nannies/helpers, plus my mother's condition. maybe i worry too much but whoever says managing a household is easy deserves a weeklong practicum in our home. and of course, on top of that is my career. although i am grateful that my work allows me to attend to personal matters when i need to. still, it's not easy taking care of three people who, yes, belong to the top management level. there's just very little room for mistakes.

it's so funny because since i am very exhausted lately, i've decided to skip tv-watching and subject raf to my "early to bed, early to rise" goal. i told him the other night that he has to get used to sleeping early because when he goes to school, he has to wake up early as well. no more crashing in anytime. so for two mornings in a row, he'd be up before i am awake and say, "i want to go to school now." things such as this help keep my sanity intact.

also, what makes the weekend very enticing is that i'll have time to snuggle under the covers with diana gabaldon's books. i'm still on the first book (mind you, all three books have 900++ pages, in small print!) and i can't wait to finish them. i am sometimes glad that raf has hobbies of his own now so i can also spend some me-time without feeling guilty. hahaha.

however

despite the rush, i am still feeling blessed because:

1. i have a job and i work 5 days a week.

2. my kids are healthy and doing well. i miss andi but i know she's in better hands with my mother than with us here, not having a good yaya and all.

3. we have enough to have our house semi-renovated. it's not much but at least, it will be more child-friendly and safer.

4. i have titas who love their sister-in-law and are willing to fight her battles.

5. my sisters are finally trying to be more responsible in taking care of our mother.

6. i have friends who are my support system.

7. i might have a long vacation and bonding time with my family come march and april.

8. there are problems but still, all is well. :)

Inhale, Exhale

you know, it's not my mother's fault you had a very bad childhood thus this towering insecurity. it's not her fault either that you've grown into this flat-nosed loser with badly-shaped legs. and it's definitely not her fault that you had to do somebody else's laundry (my family's laundry, in fact) just to get your husband in a reputable firm. if he had the balls and enough diskarte, he wouldn't let his wife be some family's errand girl for his law career to take off.

so why are you dumping all of your frustrations on my mother? oh, because perhaps she lives the life you once dreamed for yourself? but she has a daughter who got pregnant even before marriage! would you want that? she doesn't have a son who backbreakingly works abroad just to send her mother capricious gifts and you actually have! and cmon, you have more expensive vehicles! so why the hate?

i won't try to understand your purpose and your actions. i don't have time for that. i will just pray that someday, life will give me enough lemons so i can squirt them all on your eyes. hahaha. my mother will scold me for this so let me rephrase. i hope someday, you'd realize your mistake (preferably on your deathbed) and ask even just an ounce of forgiveness for everything you've done against all your enemies. ah, too angelic. let me try for the third time. i hope someday, my mother would have the strength to come up to you while you're reciting your tirades against her and blurt, "it's not my fault your life's laden with insecurities but i cannot be your dumping ground forever," then slap her hard on one cheek, so hard her head would fall off. that's more like it. hahaha.

i am sorry to be posting all this raging posts but i can't help it. i have to release all this negative vibes since i cannot go home to negros armed with a good, sharp bolo to face this monster.

Happy 1st Monthsary East West!

to those who don't know it yet, east west has opened at IT park last january 10. mimi and i were so excited when we learned that it has been resurrected because really, their mango sushi crepe is to die for! we were among those who have grieved when their ayala branch closed because east west has always been one of our favorite hang outs.

the store's still on "settling down" mode. they're still finalizing their menus - deciding which dishes to revive, which ones need to be added, etc. aside from the crepe, i've always loved their potato joes with the ceasar's dip and strawberry shake. mimi and i visited them yesterday and we had, guess what, spaghetti bolognese, sisig, hungarian nibblers and mango sushi crepe. we were so full we can hardly stand! hahaha. we also had fun talking with F and F, as they were very open to ideas and suggestions. i just hope they bring back my PJ's ceasar's dip!

visit east west at the ground floor of the walk, IT park, right beside casa verde.

p.s.: this is not a paid ad. :)