Smart vs Pretty

i found this cool, feel-good book in fully booked - smart vs pretty. i just wasn't able to buy it because i am quite below the poverty line these days. hehe. growing up, i wondered how it feels to be you know, pretty. or beautiful. or even just plain attractive. those were never adjectives you'd use to describe me some 12 years ago. i was dark-skinned, with boring hair and boring facial features. it didn't help that i always had this snooty look on my face. boys never flocked to me to ask for my name or phone number. they'd come to me to ask for academic help. for the longest time, i wished i was popular because of my long hair or long eyelashes or very pretty face instead of being the editor of the school paper or being one of the top three in our batch. hahaha.

i know, i know! intelligence is still more important than say, gorgeous-ness, but it was only later in college when the term, intelligence is sexy, has been coined. before, being a smart-ass doesn't make boys fall on your feet. well, geeky ones would but really, i never wanted a nerd for a boyfriend. hahaha. your crush might know and admire you for your amazing speed in solving calculus problems but he'd never want a girlfriend smarter than his basketball-dreaming brains.

a lot has changed since college and it's not because i have at least looked human. hahaha. more than one person has observed that i am quite a headturner whenever we'd roam the malls and it's funny how i still had suitors when i was bursting with my first pregnancy. looking back now, i am glad i did well in both academics and extra curricular activities. people give you something more than a pretty face allows. they actually give you respect because you are well, smart. people look up to you because you have something in between your ears and it's not just a seductive pair of eyes. sometimes i get too smug knowing that yes, i have the face and the brains to match. it still amuses me that some get taken aback when i spew sensible sentences and ideas. i reckon they don't usually get that from halter- and short skirt-wearing barbie dolls. hahaha.

now i know better. there's always a cure for plain looking-ness. but there's almost no remedy for being uh, stupid. ang law-ay, may chance pa mag-gwapa. ang ma-ngo, wala na tsansa mag alam. :)

That Dreaded Feb 14 and other stories

my sister sent me this hilarious valentine's day message the other day and so i was again reminded that my not-so favorite (since i got married) date is just around the corner. okay, so maybe i am bitter that my husband isn't into the V-day when i, this hopeless romantic, always itch to join the throng of lovers out there crowding every fastfood and fine dining restaurant in the city. yes, valentine's day these days spell nothing but commercialization so kill me if i still feel like celebrating it. hahaha.

i checked the calendar and surprise surprise, the 14th falls on a saturday! so i thought of several ways to spend this ordinary saturday extraordinary.

• cook a special meal (pasta, karne frita or korean beef steak, and mango float for dessert)
• yes, go out, watch a movie and have some drinks afterward (provided raf lets his parents chill out for a night)
• buy several dvds the day before, cook pasta, sleep the whole day and do a movie marathon in the evening
• take raf out for some playtime and just spend on lunch
• sleep the whole morning and pretend it is indeed just another saturday

if i'd let my husband decide, we'd probably go for the last option because he has work the night before and there's nothing he'd want to do but sleep and rest the next day. i know, he is becoming boring as his long hair.

MEANWHILE

i have been following the death of one 24-year old MEPZ worker who was believed to have been raped and killed by her "textmate." according to reports, she has met this textmate through a radio station program designed for single, loveless and even those who just-want-to-meet-new friends, ladies and gents. it was supposedly their second meeting with the sole agenda of reclaiming her cellphone after the male textmate reportedly swapped phones with her on their first "date." her body was discovered in a grassy area behind a gasoline station a few days after the body of a slain call center agent was also found in a hotel. two horrifying murders in a week. there's no getting used to this. everytime you read and hear something as scary and unbelievable as this, you get the same reaction as the first time you realize these killings are possible and real - goosebumps all over your arms and the rapid beating of your heart.

i have listened to these radio programs a number of times. thanks to taxi drivers and even company drivers who seem to get a kick out of eavesdropping to some 20-year old girl discuss her vitat stats with a 25-year old out of school guy. the girl and guy, who i think call the radio station and wait for their turn to be on air, share personal information not only to each other but to a hundred or so listeners who never fail to tune in on time. in fairness, there are several ladies who don't answer very personal questions (like where exactly do you live, etc) and would only give their numbers off the air. when some callers sound hesitant, shy or just plain uninteresting, the djs egg and prod them on. the djs would try to take control of the conversation so the callers don't waste precious airtime. then after a few minutes, the two parties should have exchanged contact numbers and decided on an "eyeball" date and time for the call to be considered successful. at least, that's what i think it is.

the battle on which radio station gains the widest coverage and listenership (if ever there's a term) is fierce so of course, you can't blame the radio stations for coming up with this seemingly harmless and fun program with the single and unmarried population as its target. i bet they haven't seen this murder coming. and who would've thought that somebody would use this as a way to lure some victim into his liar? that is, if it's indeed proven that it was the victim's textmate who did this gruesome crime to her. police are looking into another angle citing it could be that while waiting for her textmate, another group of people with bad intent (it was established that more than one person could have abducted and killed her) got to her even before she met this textmate.

i hope justice would be given to both victims. it's a tiny way to compensate for their families' loss and grief.

Little Boy Blue

raf has been too clingy lately. and although he has always been a mommy-or-daddy-only kind of boy, he had never been the type to cry whenever we would leave for work. we thought we have explained to him well why we are out five times a week to work (because work allows mommy and daddy to buy you milk, food, clothes and shoes and pay for your playroom and eventually, school). lately though, he would complain to the yaya whenever it's TV patrol already and mommy is not yet home. you see, i don't go home until 7:30pm every night because we have to wait for our carpool. even before, i haven't been the 6pm-on-the-dot mom because there are still errands to run, groceries to buy and bills to pay. when i need to stay up late because of a social obligation or get-togethers, i would let him know beforehand so he doesn't wait for me. raf didn't have any problems with that. until now.

for two weeks now, he would cry endless while waiting for me. and it so happened that ppip has to leave earlier than usual so there's an hour or two gap between his departure and my arrival. everytime he'd wake up from his afternoon nap, he'd ask his yaya if it's nighttime already so "mommy would be home soon." on weekends that ppip is out, he'd grumble "daddy's late. he's working late again. dugay muuli." ppip also said that whenever he's asleep, raf would just stay in our room, either playing or doing nothing, waiting, until he wakes up.

we find it weird because our son wasn't like that before. my mother said that perhaps, raf has gotten used to having somebody else around aside from the helper when he was in negros. my tatay is always home and my nanay goes home for lunch and logs out from work at 5pm. and andi's there so he doesn't feel left out. the word "gibayaan" is in his vocabulary now, i think thanks to the neighbors' helpers who tell him "gibayaan na pod ka raf" whenever they'd see me leaving for work.

every night before sleeping, raf would kiss my hair and cheek and playfully whine, "ayaw na work mommy." and again, i'd explain that i have to work or else, we can't afford to buy milk and chicken and fish and dvds and shoes and pay for school and well, go to disneyland to see mickey and minnie and donald and pete. if only we have a choice, it's nice to just stop working and get andi from negros and have all the time in the world to dilly-dally, go out and have fun with them. but then, life doesn't work that way for us. this time, at least. there's a house to fix and tuition fees and a wedding to save for so perhaps, raf would have to wait for another year or two before his wish comes true.

Stupid vs Smart

i think i made a pretty bad mistake yesterday.

raf and i were lying in bed as i wasn't feeling well and had to call in sick. i was telling him that whenever we go out and visit mommy and daddy's friends' houses, i expect him to be courteous and polite and answer questions. we attended a party last sunday and true to his anti-social self, he refused to say anything when asked by our officemates. i don't know if he's just shy or what around adults but he's quite talkative when he feels at ease already.

"raf, only stupid people keep their mouth shut when they're being asked. and you're not stupid right, you're smart." i felt a jab in my ribs. i knew it was the husband. apparently, stupid is a word not suitable for three year olds. but what exactly is bugo in english? hehehe.

"mommy, i don't want to be smart. i just want to be stupid." i knew it! he was grinning that cheshire cat grin.

"but stupid boys don't get to be pilots. and you said you want to be a pilot. so you have to be smart." ppip already butted in.

"ah. well then, mag ride na lang ko sa airplane. dili na lang ko mag pilot."