Some Sacrifices We Just Have to Make

a friend told me she can't believe how i can manage to leave andi in negros while we are here in cebu. don't i miss my daughter, she asks?

i get a lot of questions like that. and sometimes, i must admit, i get offended especially when their statements go like, "grabeha pd nimo. ngano gibilin man didto? makaya ra bya gyd na if naa na." i guess some things are easier said than done. especially when that somebody who dishes out those statements hardly have an inkling about what it's like to have two kids. or even just one kid, at that.

yes, it's doable. yes, it's manageable. yes, i can take care of two kids, work and survive on 4-hour rest everyday. it is doable. BUT i didn't do it not because i am a senyora who likes to take things nice and easy but because i don't want to sacrifice my child's safety when the husband and i work for 12 hours everyday and our home is like, eons away from the city. andi is quite sensitive. she is lactose- and soy-milk intolerant and even now that she's 7 months old, she cannot just eat anything that babies her age can. she is allergic to dust and even baby oil doens't sit well with her skin because she gets rashes. some would say, "sulayi ra gud." "arte lang na ang ubang doctor." but this is not your baby we are talking about. if you can risk your baby's safety by not following doctor's advice, i cannot. the last time we left andi with our careless and clumsy helper, she got hospitalized overnight because of dyspepsia.

i'd rather you know, miss her everyday, but know that she is fine and well taken care of than have her here with us yet leave her at 7 am when she just woke up and arrive at 8pm when she's already asleep. plus, the eternal problem of not having somebody really trustworthy and efficient and with good hygiene to be her yaya keeps cropping up every now and then. finding a good yaya these days is like looking for a good job that will make you happy and pay you well at the same time.

it's hard for a parent to let somebody else mother her children while she's away. as much as i'd want to stay at home longer so i can be there for them all the time, i can't. as i've mentioned, these are tough times and the husband and i have to work so we can ensure our family's welfare. some things have to be sacrificed and it's just too bad that we have to be away from our daughter for her first 9 months. i know i shouldn't even be explaining this but there are just conversations and observations that can't be let go until you air it out.

i can't wait for the little girl to be here. but for the meantime, we'll make do with phone calls and lullabies sang over the air. that's just the way it is.