1st of 30

Dear Raf,

maybe you'll already be five when you can read this letter on your own and maybe already 25 when you can fully understand what i am trying to say here. i should know, i never understood what nanay has been telling me the whole time not until i was old, and in deep trouble, enough.

first things first though. i just want to let you know that you are the most magical thing that ever happened to me and your daddy. you our are first miracle, and nothing, not even winning the lotto, can make us happier than the time we first heard your wail. nor the first time you cried out "mommy" and "daddy." you may hear sad, and painful, stories about your conception but let me, as your mother, tell you that we may not be ready when we first knew we'll have you but we did (and still be doing) our best to become the greatest parents for you. twenty two years old isn't the best time and age to be parents, not when you are struggling to find your own niche in this overcrowded world. i'm telling you this not only to subtly warn you that i'd definitely faint when you'll go home one day when you're 22 and say that you got a girl pregnant, but because i want you to know that i want you to fully enjoy life first before you embark on this journey we started when we're only 22.

you'll be a pre-schooler very soon, and daddy's already having separation anxiety. hahaha. we'll be the proudest parents when that time comes because you'll be hitting another milestone on that day. we'd take pictures you can show your friends when you're 15. remember that you're in school to learn, to have fun, to gain friends. you're not there to reap awards for us, although we'll be very happy to put them medals on you come graduation. you will not be in school to feed and fulfill our frustrations. you will be in school to strengthen and find yourself. school is the first step to your independence, i tell ya. be good in your early yours and pretty soon, you'll have our nod to take your education anywhere. as i always tell you, being in the honors list would only be a bonus, a plus, for us. i'd appreciate it more if you'd behave and be a good boy and refrain yourself from being called to the principal's office often enough for you and the officer to be on first name basis.

raf, please know that despite all the scoldings and shouting matches we have (and will have), it doesn't lessen my love for you. i only get mad when you're hard headed because i don't want you to grow up bugoy and disrespectful. we want to be cool parents but we are still your parents. and no matter what happens, we will always be here for you, ever willing to do anything for you. as early as now, i am already proud of you.

let's journey together. here's to another year of smart-ass quips, outrageous excuses, and mickey mouse dances. we love you.

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY!

xoxo,
mommy