Si Andi Na Mahilig Magpa-Picture

they're told to kiss daddy for both pictures but naughty andi, it seems, has objections :)

1st of 30

Dear Raf,

maybe you'll already be five when you can read this letter on your own and maybe already 25 when you can fully understand what i am trying to say here. i should know, i never understood what nanay has been telling me the whole time not until i was old, and in deep trouble, enough.

first things first though. i just want to let you know that you are the most magical thing that ever happened to me and your daddy. you our are first miracle, and nothing, not even winning the lotto, can make us happier than the time we first heard your wail. nor the first time you cried out "mommy" and "daddy." you may hear sad, and painful, stories about your conception but let me, as your mother, tell you that we may not be ready when we first knew we'll have you but we did (and still be doing) our best to become the greatest parents for you. twenty two years old isn't the best time and age to be parents, not when you are struggling to find your own niche in this overcrowded world. i'm telling you this not only to subtly warn you that i'd definitely faint when you'll go home one day when you're 22 and say that you got a girl pregnant, but because i want you to know that i want you to fully enjoy life first before you embark on this journey we started when we're only 22.

you'll be a pre-schooler very soon, and daddy's already having separation anxiety. hahaha. we'll be the proudest parents when that time comes because you'll be hitting another milestone on that day. we'd take pictures you can show your friends when you're 15. remember that you're in school to learn, to have fun, to gain friends. you're not there to reap awards for us, although we'll be very happy to put them medals on you come graduation. you will not be in school to feed and fulfill our frustrations. you will be in school to strengthen and find yourself. school is the first step to your independence, i tell ya. be good in your early yours and pretty soon, you'll have our nod to take your education anywhere. as i always tell you, being in the honors list would only be a bonus, a plus, for us. i'd appreciate it more if you'd behave and be a good boy and refrain yourself from being called to the principal's office often enough for you and the officer to be on first name basis.

raf, please know that despite all the scoldings and shouting matches we have (and will have), it doesn't lessen my love for you. i only get mad when you're hard headed because i don't want you to grow up bugoy and disrespectful. we want to be cool parents but we are still your parents. and no matter what happens, we will always be here for you, ever willing to do anything for you. as early as now, i am already proud of you.

let's journey together. here's to another year of smart-ass quips, outrageous excuses, and mickey mouse dances. we love you.

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY!

xoxo,
mommy

Because She's Not Just An Officemate

i've always been smug about the fact that yes, He loves me much,
because despite and inspite of, He has given me an army of true and loyal friends

Happy Birthday Marita aka Mayette

The heavens has granted your one great wish but i bet they're open to several thousand more wishes from someone as kindhearted as you.

I'll miss laughing and sharing secrets with you but my heart overflows with happiness that finally, you'll be where you are meant and dreaming to be - in your husband's arms.

Cakes.Ice Cream.Yeah, Softdrinks for a day!Pasta.Steak.Pizza.Hungarian Sausages.

Enjoy your day!

photo swiped from Mayette's multiply account

Yesterday, Valentine's Day

taken by Purple, my well, yes, purple SE K770i.
apparently, i still have to practice taking couple shots to
ensure both our faces fit the screen snugly

it wasn't a date date, but it was a date nonetheless. our first valentine's date in what, 3 years? no greetings were exchanged because v-day is just non-existent in our calendar like that. but we watched sitti's concert (thank again to globe!) and had a good time. oh, we had dinner at teriyaki boy (one of his favorites) and even had to bring the little boy and the yaya home before going back to the city for the concert.

i love sitti! it was my first time to see her perform and she didn't disappoint. and what's amazing was that lloyd zaragoza, jessa zaragoza's brother and sitti's guest last night, amused ppip. apparently, he passed my husband's standards. lloyd sings and dances well, in fairness, and he creates audience rapport a sam milby, i think, can never do. but no, i don't have pictures of the concert nor of the performers. i just cannot be bothered to take pictures when my sole purpose of going to a show is to watch and enjoy. hehehe.

all in all, our feb 14 09 wasn't that bad. hope you had fun too. :)

What Raf Did During Our Negros Vacation

cleaning the tires

cleaning the glass

making sure the cloth itself is clean

and enjoying the whole thing

well, if we're thinking of putting up a business, we might as well go for a carwash shop. hahaha.

Ananda Turns 7 Months!

andi won't be with us this january but on march. i don't mind the delay, as long as i am assured that we'll have somebody trustworthy to take care of her. isn't she adorable?

Raf's Christmas

raf and i did last minute shopping yesterday. it's fun going out with him, he knows what he wants and he says when he needs something. he chose his own clothes (we joined the amazing throng of people milling around in metro's ukay bargain areas) and well, he does have his own style now. since i couldn't buy him everything he wants, i let him select between several items when i need to give something up because of budget constraints. haha. we spent i think two hours in metro alone, as per mimi, there was one million people in there. hahaha.

he got tired after the suffocating atmosphere in metro he was ready to throw a tantrum. good thing mcdonald's saved the day. when he saw mcdo on our way to crocs, he asked for us to eat first because he was already hungry. told you he is assertive. hahaha. he attacked a one-piece chicken meal in several minutes, with large fries on the side. then we went to buy a friend's son a gift then to crocs to get him a footwear. the salespeople laughed when he said he didn't like the style i got.

"maot man mommy," referring to the one i initially picked out. i liked it because it's easy to get in and out of, and he doesn't need to wear socks with it. the salesman brought a pair of sandals and he said, "kana, ganahan ko ana." oh-kay.

this was the one i wanted to get for himbut we ended up buying this

he fell asleep on the way home until 830 pm which was a really good thing because he was up until 1:30AM earlier! he was looking for his daddy the whole time then ppip called from work 10 minutes after the clock struck 12. he didn't want to sleep again because it's "christmas, mommy" and that "it's Jesus' birthday so dili lang ta sleep."

he was giddy to see his daddy beside him upon waking up this morning. he couldn't wait to open his gifts he skipped his usual bottle of milk before breakfast.

he got books, sticker books, several toys, and tsa-raan
a can of pediasure choco from tita mimi!

he's upstairs now, charging his batteries for another night of playing and testing his parents' patience. hahaha. if all goes well, we'd have andi with us next christmas and we'd have two kids asking for stuff left and right. it is such a merry christmas!

from our part of the world to yours - manang therese (and mark and akio), chichi (and roland and basti and insoy), chelo (and adrian), normita (and david), pat (and manuel and vito), dee (and james), yvonne (wherever you are right now. haha!), sher, juicy, lynette (and lysa), yen (and dwight and nikki), jopie (and ben), fil (and maynard and trinity), (i hope i didn't miss anyone out, gosh!)

MERRY CHRISTMAS! with all our hugs and kisses!

It's Christmas!

Getting Married for all the Right Reasons

i wasn't exactly the blushing bride during our civil wedding

a few weeks ago, a friend ping-ed me at ym. she says her boyfriend proposed marriage to her already, and though she hasn't really given him a "no," she also didn't give her "yes." rather, she told him she'd think about it. and by thinking about it, she meant she'd ask her married friends first if, uh, you know, marriage is something we'd recommend her to do. i laughed out loud, honestly. i was speechless for a few seconds and when i regained my composure, i didn't quite know what to tell her. should i tell her, "yes, get married already!" or "no, don't, please, and save yourself?"

i am no expert when it comes to marriage, or to relationships. friends just come to me for advice because well, i am pretty good with boys. not that i've been into so many serious relationships. to my friends at least, it seemed that i have my way with the opposite crowd. but, i never slept around. not just my cup of tea. maybe you can call me your "tease girl" because that's just what i do, tease them naughty lot. and i have A LOT of guy friends. sensible, cool guy friends who would never mince words to get their points across.

being married myself for only a year, i wasn't sure what to tell my friend exactly except that marriage is not for the faint hearted. and motherhood, that's a completely different story to tell. marriage and motherhood had always been scary for me. it's a whole lot of responsibility. it's just that i didn't have the time and chance to be scared because it has been given to me already, on a silver platter, if that's any consolation.

so, why did ppip and i get married? no, it wasn't because i got pregnant. i told him repeatedly, i won't get married just because i got pregnant. hello, an annulment costs so much more than a church wedding. two, i was pretty confident that even without his support, i can raise my child on my own. that's what one who belongs to a closely-knit family would feel anytime.

ppip and i got married two years after raf was born. we did that not only because we are living in the same roof anyway and we're almost married in that sense but because we know that we are quite ready for it. maybe we can get stoned for our liberal thinking but you know, if while living together we had discovered that we can't live with each other despite best efforts, then we have to go our separate ways. you can't argue with each other for the rest of your life, you can't just keep on tolerating your partner's bad and ngil-ad habits forever.

in the course of our relationship, there were several times when i threatened to pack my bags and leave him, for good. and always, always, it would be him who'd remind me of the good days, of the fun times, of the bad-yet-we-were-able-to-survive moments. it's not that because my mind and heart hasn't kept a treasure trove of these memories, but because when you're fed up and tired and exhausted of raising not only two kids, but an adult as well, you tend to just say, "okay, this is it." and while all people think i am lucky to have ppip yet he is kind of shortchanged with me because of my bitchiness, try living with this prince charming and you'll know how difficult he can get and why i had more than once planned on ditching him. see? this what i am talking about. marriage is not for the weak. because while i can go on all day about how hard it is to maintain and cultivate this sacred relationship, i am still here, still with my husband because that's just how it is. and we have only been married for a year and a half! and mind you, it is not all about love. nor money.

so what did i finally tell my friend? i said, "why don't you join us for noche buena and we can discuss it over spaghetti and chicken macaroni?"

Obligatory "I Am Back" Blog Entry

finally. i thought i'm never going back to blogging. it's so hard to capture that "inspiration" to churn out words and stories when you've been gone for quite sometime. yes, i was only out for a few days but it seemed like forever. i have so many issues, so many chickas! hahaha.

okay, let's start with where i left off. thursday last week, i fetched my parents from toledo. they're here supposedly for a 5-day visit that became more than a week-long stay. of course, we went out, toured the malls and i brought them to some of the best restos we go to. they even kinda joined our supergirls christmas dinner. hehe.
what's more exciting about this visit, aside this being my father's first trip to cebu in 36 years, is that raf and andi are finally here! well, raf will be here with us until christmas but ananda's still going back to negros until the new year. our little house is well, filled to the brim, and there's kalat everywhere but they're nice kalat. hahaha.   

raf and andi at the waterfront christmas carnival set up

andi, raf and nanay

then, we had our company christmas party at the waterfront last sunday. it was a good thing my parents are here so ppip and i had been able to stay up really late without feeling guilty about leaving the kids at home with just the help. more christmas party details on my succeeding posts. but before the party, ppip and i brought tatay to the marco polo hotel to watch the pacman-dela hoya match. i didn't have time to balk at the ticket price because aside from the fact that pacman won, the hotel served eat-all-you can brunch.

christmas belles rocking the broadway parteh

our little problem started last monday, when raf vomited on our way to the city. we thought at first it was just motion sickness because there was heavy traffic and my mother frequently applied on the brakes. he vomited three more times before we decided to bring him to the hospital. we were sent home the same night, with the resident doctors telling us to just observe his condition and have him take oral rehydration salt (ORS) to replenish the lost electrolytes. by tuesday, he doesn't want to eat and when he does try to eat rice, he would vomit right away. the next day, i had him check by our company doctor and she requested for CBC, urinalysis and stool exam. since all raf had since that morning was just crackers and some water, he couldn't poo poo and so we had his blood examined first. when the result came in, i thought of bringing him to his own pedia since it was already late morning and she would be available by then. when she checked raf, that's when she decided we have to admit him so he can rest and reclaim his lost energy and nutrients when he started vomiting. the culprit: spaghetti. raf ate a four-day old spaghetti monday noontime for brunch. and although he wasn't poisoned, the doctor explained that the high acid content of the spaghetti sauce caused his upset stomach, thus the pain. spaghetti and sandwiches are high-risk food so it's never good to eat them a day past their prepared time. 

raf and andi bonding in the hospital. "with our powers combined!"  hahaha. 

it was raf's time to be admitted so he was very scared of the dextrose and all. i am always honest with him. i told him it would hurt but it's nothing to be afraid about because that would make his yayay go away. i am glad ppip was with me the whole time because he held raf when they inserted the IV in his hand. he also missed work so he can take care of his son. it was 4am of thursday when my nanay, already half-panicking, called me that andi has been puking out as well. i told her to observe it first because it might just be indigestion. andi drinks milk a lot so it could be that she has taken in more than her little stomach can contain. hahaha. but by 645am, i had to drive to minglanilla to fetch them because she hasn't stopped vomiting already. and by 9 am, andi has the same contraption on her left hand as raf's. doctor's finding was dyspepsia and our suspicion was that the yaya perhaps didn't let her burp after feeding time last wednesday when my parents went out and she was the only left with the baby. you see what laziness can do.

andi was out of the hospital by yesterday while raf just left today. as i told chin, i'd rather be physically beat than worry about their condition all the time. i am just thankful that my parents are here when this happened. they're all the help you can need. they never slept and they took turns pacifying raf and andi. my father is the errand boy while i am at work and he never complained, not even once. and this is somebody who is used to having an assistant or helper at his beck and call, 24/7.

my parents, together with andi, will go back to negros tomorrow. and well, we're back to our independent, car-less living. hahaha. it has been a great week, despite the kids getting sick and all. it could be worse, for all we know. what's more important is that they're doing okay now, my parents are just superb and such good sports for extending their "vacay," i got very thoughtful gifts from the supergirls, and yes, i am back to blogging! :)

Happy 6 Months, Little Ananda

time indeed flies so fast. 2009 is just a month away, and our ananda celine is now 6 months old. i sometimes feel guilty because i always miss her monthly birthday, while during raf's time, we have pictures. andi has lots of photos too but it seems like raf always has more. oh don't worry, little one. when you're here in cebu already, mommy and daddy will make bawi. and you won't feel neglected anymore.

thank you for being such a sweet, happy baby. i just know you'd never give mommy headaches. :)

When Do You Draw the Line?

they say, when you love, you love with all your heart - unconditionally and willing to give everything up. but what happens when that love renders you blind, deaf and mute? when that love makes you a numb, unfeeling zombie? when that love rips your life apart? do you still love? or do you finally tell yourself to let go?

love is a mad, unpredictable thing. yes, love with all your heart. but know when to walk away. because true, pure love, with all its hurts and pains and sacrifices, shouldn't make one lifeless. it shouldn't make you blind. it shouldn't scare you. it shouldn't make you into this mad, raging person. it shouldn't kill one's senses.

true, pure love, with all its hurts and pains and sacrifices, still make you happy. it makes you giddy. it makes you fall in love over and over again, despite the countless terrible fights. it makes you strong. it makes you become a better person.

love can be cruel. but only if you let it.

Ramblings of A Homesick Heart

i did it, i did it! i'm done with everything that needs to be done today, including the script! but it has definitely been a toxic day, with all the urgent stuff that have to be done asap. everything is top priority and even my two bosses have been paying too many visits to my desk in the afternoon alone. but in the end, i am happy to finally heave a sigh of relief.

my sister buzzed me earlier, telling me about this new boylet of hers. since i'm done with most of my work, i indulged her and spent a good part of my late afternoon chatting with her. she broke up with her boyfriend of two years and so-so months i think quite a month ago. while my other sister, i just learned through multiply's email alert, broke up with her boyfriend as well. the boyfriend that i didn't even know exist if not for friendster.

i am glad my sisters come to my for relationship issues. it's not all the time but they're pretty open with me than with my mother. that's why my mother also comes to me when she has problems with my sisters because she knows that i know some things that she doesn't know. can you imagine the number of texts i receive whenever they are arguing? that's being a big sister for you.

i take my big sister responsibility seriously. despite being too tired and overwhelmed at times. when i was younger, i'd hate it when everytime we'd quarrel, my mother would always tell me that as the manang, i should be the one to exercise more patience and be more tolerant of them, younger evil versions of myself. hahaha.

i'm not the perfect role model, i must admit. and i exerted the effort to make them understand that while having raf brought so much joy to our parents, it would be better and it would make our parents happier if they wouldn't follow my footsteps. hahaha. i've been lucky enough that when i had raf, both ppip and i are working already and that ppip is a responsible person who never even for a moment hesitated to take care of us. that at least was a consolation to my parents. but even so, having a family at a very young age is difficult, i always tell them.

i told sister A that she should just enjoy her single blessedness for now. i survived the first 18 years of my life without a boyfriend. and she was allowed to have a boyfriend at 16! while having a boyfriend is fun, it has its disadvantages as well. manang's advice is for her to concentrate on her studies first, what with graduation fast approaching as well as the board exams. and when through God's grace she tackles everything successfully, she should enjoy the fruits of her labor. she should go out, have fun, travel, buy everything she wants! i don't want them to miss out on something. i want them to experience life without a dog on a leash in their hands. hahaha. the other sister is a different story. although i know that with constant reminders, she would be okay.

while my sister and i were chatting, the boylet added me up. hmm..interesting. he knows who to woo first. hahaha. i was in a good mood so i talked to him as well. all my sisters' former boyfriends try to get to my good side. i am known as the maldita and hard-to-please ate. and when their charms don't work on me, they play with raf. hahaha.

it's hard being away from my family while they sort of depend on me for pretty much a lot of things. our youngest sister even texts or emails me for fashion advices. hahaha. there are times when i wish we're just in bacolod so everything's just an hour away. i get worried about my sisters. and at the same time, i want to experience how it is to be with them - to share an apartment with them, to go and have coffee with them when we're all tired and just want to have a good time. i wonder how it feels to have them here in cebu, texting them when i want to go shopping or asking them what time they'd go home so we can go together. it would be fun, super, i am sure.

i am just being senti, forgive me. the week has been terribly tiring and it would definitely help to have a mother, or at least, a sister, to go home to. but then, this is the life i chose. i'm just glad we'll be home for the new year and i'll have a week to be with them, to live the hacienda life again. hahaha. good night everyone. :)

Tita Love

see how raf loves his "mommy inay" more? he couldn't even be bothered to pose decently when tita ahah tells him to. hahaha.

reading ate ai's posts about clark reminds me so much of my own doting titas, and my sisters being such great second mothers to my raf and andi who are enjoying negros for several months now.

i was the first grandchild born and raised here in negros while the technically first apo of the consolacions was in manila. being the first and only baby in the household has such great perks, as some of you may know and experience. my aunts and uncles who were then still in school (my father's the eldest in a brood of seven) never came home without toys, chocolates and cookies as pasalubongs. they taught me tricks, songs, and dances and officially made me their main entertainment source. i was also of course, the target of all teasing and utos, which made me vow to have my sister suffer the same fate. hahaha.

i feel blessed to be loved and adored by both my mother and father's brothers and sisters. i think it's because i was this charming little rat who knew how to tweak their horns. i knew exactly what to say at the right place and time so they'd give me what i want. that's a talent i have mastered over the years. look at my husband. *grins*

until now, i am still their spoiled niece who makes sure i spend just a day bonding with them whenever i'm home. i text them so we can make chicka. my OC-ness, shopaholic tendencies and quirkiness still amuses them to no end and if my mother has bought me some clothes and bags or shoes, they'd goad me into modeling the stuff for them. talk about my entertainment value. hahaha.

i am proud at how my own sisters are becoming such adoring titas to my children. ah ah is the stricter tita while wewe is the kunsintidora type. raf loves tita wewe more while andi seems to like tita ah ah. which is really weird because it was ah ah who took care of raf for such a long time. but well, since she's a disciplinarian, the little boy of course, naughty as he is, would go for the tita who'd give in to his whims. hahaha.

and although i am not yet in a hurry to become an official tita myself (gawd, my sisters aren't allowed to get married or be mothers yet! i say so! haha), i just can imagine me taking my nieces and nephews to shopping sprees and eat outs and i'd be their favorite tita in the whole wide world. :)

I Am Married to Him...

...and to him only. as much as he is married to me, and to me only.

we're taking our time, spending every possible minute together, before we become "parents" again and not merely "husband and wife" or "lovers." it's amazing how when we go to the mall, we don't only look for shoes and clothes and gadgets, but we check out furniture (like this really nice double-deck which we think would perfectly fit the kids' room) and other stuff for the house. sometimes though, we just cringe at how expensive household stuff are. but at least, we can now allocate bonuses and incoming extra money for these useful things, and not just buy "expensive pants yet not buy a shoerack." duh. hehehe.

this weekend is reserved for plantation bay's christmas tree lighting ceremony, as well as twilight. *swoon* it's a three-day weekend as well so yay for rest and endless laag. last weekend was spent at the outpost with two more couples, chin*wett and kiss*cyrus and i am hoping we can do it again because it's so much fun listening to the husbands' tirades and complaints. hahaha.

while marriage can be quite complicated at times, it feels good to have that somebody beside you when the rest of the world turns its back on you.

please don't mind the huge-ness of my face. at least, gwapa ko. hahaha.

"Thank You" Isn't Really That Difficult to Say or Pronounce, Is It?

our parents, as well as our titos and titas, would always remind us to say "please" and "thank you" whenever we would "forget" to include it in our sentences.  even in the simplest task of asking for a certain dish during mealtimes, pleases and thank yous are a must.  

i ride a taxi to and from work.  and during late night trips, it is already expected for the taxi driver to ask for a "pakapin" especially that minglanilla is indeed quite far and they usually don't have passengers on the way back to the city.  i don't have any problem with that, it's perfectly understandable, although i only give as much as P30.00.  for me, P30.00 is a small amount considering that i go home as late as 11 or 12 mn and my safety's the main concern.  just the fact that i arrived home in one piece is more than my "extra" fare can cover.

i get a little irritated though if despite the extra i give (i mean, i do believe P30.00 is very generous), drivers fail to say "thank you."  maybe it's just me but i would appreciate a little gratitude because i say a very sincere "thank you" to them before i get off.  there was even one time when i gave a P50.00 tip because it was already 2am and i was quite scared, to say the least.  i mean, it's 2am and there's always the threat of crazy, insane drivers, holduppers and who-knows-what other dangers.   the driver didn't even acknowledge it.  then just the other day, i only gave P20.00 (that's on top of the P10.00 required taxi fee) yet the driver thanked me profusely.  i can sense his relief and gratefulness because at least, dili sya alkansi.  it makes me happy that it's a win-win situation for both of us.  

oh, i am not saying that for every little thing i do for others, i am expecting a thank you or an exhilarating gratitude litany.  no.  when i do others a favor, i do it wholeheartedly and without expectations of being thanked or acknowledged or whatever.  although it would be really, really nice to hear even just a simple "thanks."  i know i'm blabbering and might be incoherent but you get my drift.  

i guess, this must how He feels when He showers me so much with blessings, yet i can't even utter a plain prayer of thanks.  and i even have the nerve to complain and whine at times.  and He has given me more than P50.00 or P100 million worth of things to be grateful for.  mas baga pa kog nawong sa mga taxi drivers.  hehe.  

for:

my and my family's excellent health condition

my beautiful and smart kids

my husband, for who and what he is, and is not

for my generous and loving parents, and for the values they instilled in us

for my sisters' unconditional love

for my wonderful friends who love me despite me being me (haha!)

for the not-so wonderful people out there who make me strong and more grateful for being not them

for my fans who make me feel appreciated (haha!)

for my bosses who don't make me feel overworked and underpaid

for my helper who takes care of us and the house

for the gift of life.  and for the ability to write, freedom to choose and more than average EQ to sympathize, empathize and feel. 

and for the 1 trillion and one things that make life always sweet, sometimes sad yet complete.

THANK YOU.  and i will try my very best not to forget.  because You deserve more than just my steadfast love, faithfulness,  and endless gratitude.

Because Life Is Beautiful

Love, Your Daughter

i've always felt blessed to have a very close relationship with my mother. yes, we don't agree on some things and there were times when i wasn't so open and honest about certain situations but we have truly established something that not all mothers and daughters have. when i first knew that not all mothers are loving and caring to their children, i got surprised. i always had this notion that when you are a mother, it's innate and natural for you to be "the all" for your offspring.

my mother and my mamang (my nanay's mother) didn't have the best mother-daughter relationship. and i think, that motivated my nanay to exert more effort in expressing her affection for us. her mother wasn't affectionate to them, and so she knew how it can badly break a child's heart. growing up, they weren't that fortunate to have all those material things kids their age long for. so she exerted the effort to find a job so she can provide us our needs and wants. they didn't have the liberty and resources to choose and pursue their dreams. so she and my father gave us that freedom through working hard so we, their daughters, and not them, can achieve and follow our hearts' desires. i sometimes feel bad you know, when i think that she stopped dreaming for herself when they had us. everything now is about us, they rarely think of and for themselves.

i must admit that i am a rebel. well, i listen to her but i don't necessarily obey. there was one time when i got so mad because she wouldn't let me use the other car to drive to a friend's place 20 minutes from our town. i was pissed off because i felt chained. there's another car on the driveway, why can't i use the other one? she reasoned that the car has been having problems so it's not so safe to drive it around. stubborn that i am, i stormed out of her office, went straight home and kidnapped the car. i didn't buy the car problem story because i thought she just didn't want me to go out. halfway through the next town, the car sputtered and died on me. in the middle of the sugarcane fields. i got so scared because my mother was actually saying the truth! and i didn't believe her! it was a good thing my friend was with me so we found a way to rev the car up and get it going until we reach home. we were driving at 30kph because the engine would make that awful coughing sounds when we try to go faster. from then on, i started obeying her more. hehehe.

my mother is not at all kunsintidora. she would give us a good lashing if she needs to. and despite not really explaining why, we understood that it's her way of teaching us, of disciplining us. actions are more important than words for us because really, listening to my mother's tirade and sermon is perhaps the best torture for naughty kids. hahaha.

mother and daughter relationships are quite complicated, if i may say so because women are complicated individuals already. so just how difficult it is to nurture a mini-version of you? hahaha. i am just happy though that through all these years, my nanay has always been supportive and proud of my endeavors. despite others calling me mean and evil and all. yes, she knows everything! hahaha. and she would often scold me that people might think she's also mean because her daughters are. and i would always reply, "well, you can tell all those people that we're adopted." hahaha.

i've been telling her to stop working already because you know, she can just take care of our children and we'd give her a monthly allowance and all. hahaha. and she would always answer that no, she won't live with any of us, not unless for short vacations. she'd want to enjoy her healthy years with my father, touring around the world. hahaha. i am hoping that they'd spend christmas here. but that would mean a full house for us! yet, that also equals to yummy meals everyday and shopping till we drop!

ah, to have a nanay and a confidant and an emergency nanny. what more really, can a girl wish for? ;)