All Work and No Mommy Play

i told my boss before that i don't mind working very hard for 9.6 hours everyday just as long as i can haul my ass out of the office before 7:00pm.  it's not that i hate doing overtime, i don't mind extending long hours on some days, it's just that i'd be happier if i can be home before 8:00 every night.  and even now that the kids are not around, i still try to come home early every single day, except for fridays when i schedule girls night outs with friends.  

i guess i've come to realize that working hard can get you up that corporate ladder but at whose and what expense?  your health? your family?  yes, i so love my job and the people i work with.  but when all else fails, would that company ever sacrifice for me?  would it take risks for me, a mere employee?  

the call center job was fun.  really fun.  i enjoyed every single task i performed (except for the inventory/accounting part which was argh!).  i  managed 16- to 18-hour workdays just so i can give my best in all events and programs.  and then one day, i woke up tired, exhausted and sick of the routine-ness of it all.  the stress and pressure crept up on me silently and suddenly, i found myself suffocated and needing fresh air. immediately.  without further discussions.  i don't want that to happen again.

if there's one thing i learned from my bosses now, it's to work hard on working hours.  arrive early, go home early.  come to the office late, then you go home late.  the more you spend time dilly-dallying around, the less chances you can get all tasks done before 6pm.  my boss comes in very early in the morning and goes home at a reasonable time too.  he just goes out for lunch for an hour or an hour and a half and spends the rest of the time on work, work, work.  but he's not boring at all.  just somebody focused and determined.  weekends are exclusively for the family because as one of our managers say, "i give my full five days to the company.  my restdays are mine and my family's alone. i deserve that."  

so if they can do that, i can too.  i just intend to make (and keep!) 2 or 3 resolutions next year but i'm already starting to focus on one.  which is, to spend as much time with my family as i can.  not only with the kids, but with the husband as well.  my oc-ness kicks in and i am tempted to make a table and plan some things i can do with raf on different days of the week.  and then, there's also andi who need my motherly love.  24 hours can never be enough if i'd want to do all the things i want to do.  there's so much stuff to attend to and yes, the solution is knowing which are top priorities and which are not.  it wouldn't be nice if i am a good employee but not a good mother, right?  i'd want that "best mom" title first from my children before any other recognition. and of course, i don't take centrum.  

oh, i just miss my raf.  that's why.